[antir-heralds] Kinda OT: The SCA is for Court

[Kelsy Warren]

Since I had a few people ask about this at Summits Summer Investiture,  
I thought I would repost this. Feel free to send it on, but make sure  
to give credit where credit is due. Link is for the World of Warcraft  
video, mild adult content. This was posted a few months ago also on  
the Steps, but I have gone through and reformatted this as a script so  
that it could be used for, oh, I don't know. Bardic? ;)

The SCA is for Court - by James Llewellyn ap Gruffydd
To the tune of "The Internet is for Porn" Avenue Q, Musical.

Players:
   Best if female: Gate Monster (GM)
   Best if male: Court Junkie (CJ), Barak, Seth, James, Oswyn

Gate Monster: The SCA is really really great
Court Junkie: For court
Gate Monster: I’ve got connections so i don’t have to wait
Court Junkie: For court
Gate Monster: Huh?
Gate Monster: There's always some new site,
Court Junkie: For court
Gate Monster: I drink all day and night
Court Junkie: At court!
Gate Monster: It's pretending I am really a knight
Court Junkie: At court!
Gate Monster: Junkie
Court Junkie: The SCA is for court
Gate Monster: Hey!
Court Junkie: The SCA is for court,
Gate Monster: What are you doing!?
Court Junkie: Why you think I play this sport? For Court court court
Gate Monster: Court Junkieeeeee!
Court Junkie: Oh hello gate monster
Gate Monster: You are ruining my song
Court Junkie: Oh me sorry, me no mean to
Gate Monster: Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a  
minute so i can finish?
Court Junkie: Me no talkie
Gate Monster:Good. I’m glad we research old technology
Court Junkie: At court
Gate Monster: Which gives us untold opportunity
Court Junkie: At cor—oops, sorry
Gate Monster: Right from your encampment
Court Junkie: For ---
Gate Monster: You can research period tents. Until you’ve had enough  
and you get bent
Court Junkie: At court!!
Gate Monster: Junkiee!
Court Junkie: The SCA is for court!
Gate Monster: Noooo
Court Junkie: The SCA is for court!
Gate Monster: Junkie
Court Junkie: Me up all night writing my report for court, court, court!
Gate Monster: That’s sick you’re a fighter
Court Junkie: Ah, swords and boards gate monster
Gate Monster: NO really, your sick, Normal people don’t come to events  
and think about court.
Court Junkie: Ohhhh?
Gate Monster: What?!
Court Junkie: You have no idea. Ready normal people?
Barak: Ready!
Seth: Ready!
James: Ready!
Court Junkie: Let me hear it!
All but GM: The sca is for court
Oswyn: Sorry gate
All but GM: The sca is for court!
Oswyn: I'm late!
Court Junkie: All these guys have royal ties at
All but GM: court, court, court!
Gate Monster: The SCA is not for court!!
All but GM: Court!, Court, C---
Gate Monster: HOLD ON A SECOND! Now i know for a fact that you, Barak,  
are a fighter who wakes up past noon
Barak: That’s correct.
Gate Monster: And Seth, you can barely write
Seth: Sure!
Gate Monster: And James, you spend your time flirting and socializing
James: Yes I do!
Gate Monster: And Oswyn, you sent me that sweet hand crafted wooden  
period documented representation of an artifact from the Sutton Hoo  
burial which can now be found on display at the museum in London and  
represents a typical possession owned by the upper aristocracy in  
ancient Celtic times
Oswyn: True!
Court Junkie: Oh, but gate monster- What you think they do for  
kicks . . .? hmm?
Oswyn: yeah
Gate Monster: EEEWWWWW!
All but GM: The sca is for court
Gate Monster: Gross!
All but GM: The sca is for court
Gate Monster: I hate court
Court Junkie: If you're a Duke it wasn't a fluke
Gate Monster: I hate you men!
All but GM: Hold court, court, court!(harmonizing) court, court court,  
court
Gate Monster: I’m leaving!
All but GM: court court court court court court court court
Gate Monster: I hate the SCA!
All but GM: court court court court
Court Junkie: The SCA is for,
Court Junkie, Barak, Seth: The SCA is for,
All but GM: The SCA is for court
Court Junkie: YEAH!